NQD Cast
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| Ever since their first encounter, the Narrator has done everything in his power to make life difficult for Thom. Even before they met, the Narrator has been known for using his narration powers to annoy and disappoint. Like at his cousin's bah mitzvah. Oy. |
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| Thom is a young man with emotional problems and all sorts of other issues. He is very self-contradictory, but still tries his best to just go with it sometimes. Also, he was wearing those shoes way back in 2nd grade, so back off. He ain't one of them fashionable fad yuppies. So back off, y'all. |
Craig Redburn "The Amish Businessman"
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| Craig, better known as The Amish Businessman, has performed in several stage productions and toured with a troupe doing Shakespeare's The Tempest last summer. We're very lucky to have him with us. Well, not really. We're holding his family hostage! Fun! |
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| Peaches is a wonderful doctor from America's heartland. Growing up as a boy in Heartland, South Dakota, Edward decided to become a doctor when his little brother Leroy was mauled by a rabbit. Although the experience convinced him to become a doctor, it also crippled his courage, making him a really big weenie. Seriously. |
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| The Pirate Doctor was a love child. You never think it would be someone you know, but its true. Son of a bloodthirsty Pirate and the finest surgeon in the state of Vermont, the Pirate Doctor is torn between what he should do. He has the heart of a pirate, but after his father left when he was 7, he became very close to his mother and promised he would do her proud by becoming a great doctor. Still hasn't quite panned out yet. |
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| Made back in the late '80s for holding a blender motor, the box would have happily lived out his usefulness and then would have hopefully been recycled. But there were far more important things in store for the box. God picked him up and ordered him to hold Thom's repressed emotions. The job has made the little guy quite insane. The only thing he loves other than pain and suffering is Crest toothpaste. |
Danny the Dancing Dachshund in Dungarees
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| Danny seems to have previously been involved in show business and is often accused of having stolen his image from another famous wiener dog. He, of course, denies it. Addicted to the spotlight and shiny things, Danny's favorite place in the world is Las Vegas. Also, he wears pants. Kinda strange, don't you think? |
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| Chris used to go to high school with Thom. He went to college for a while, but he soon learned that higher education was not for him. So he became a pirate. It is well-known that he is quite the lady's man... Lady's pirate. Yep. |
The Middle-Aged, Semi-Intelligent Judo Tortoises
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| Michael Engleston, Ralph Ales, Donald Tello and Leonard Olson are a group of tortoises-for-hire. Their Judo skills seem to be as non-existent as their semi-intelligence. And although they appear to have no affiliation with the other reptilian foursome, you can be sure that a lawsuit is in the works. Not that they'd care anyway. |
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| We found him by the highway. He smells real bad. |
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| Officer Jeremy Portly takes his job as a Security Guard very seriously. He always keeps his gun-shaped pocket loaded with Skittles and is sure to keep a magazine nearby to keep his mind sharp. |
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| Jeff is a high school Sophomore trying to make some extra money to save up for college. Jeff's parents are very overbearing, however, and so young Jeff is forced to pick up several part-time jobs around the nation. |
The Chief
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| Chief has been on the Mall of America's force for over 30 years. Sure, he's chief, but he doesn't even get dental insurance. He takes out his aggression by fervently trying to stop 'delinquents' from doing anything, even if they're not doing anything. |
O'toole and Jeremy
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| The rookies of the Mall of America's force, Trevor O'Toole and Rochester Jeremy are constantly trying to look good for their superiors, so that one day, they may grow a mustache and ditch the crappy desk jobs. |
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| Agents Frederick and Imahara are from the US Environmental Protection Agency. They've been assigned specifically to trail the highly endangered Tortoise, and to stop anyone who means to bring harm to their species. They also hand out coupons all the time. No one is sure why, |
Copyright 2004-2006 NyQuilDreams.com and 515Comics.com and Thomas Hotka.
And a special thanks to the creators and producers of Nyquil:
Thanks for not suing.